Do you think that nice guys always finish last?
They do and the reason is simple. “Nice guys” don’t go after what they want. Do these questions sound familiar?
“When do I get to see you?”
“When do you have time for me?”
“When can we hang out?”
Then if she accepts the next question is…. “What do you want to do?”
As a woman this is so frustrating, women plan almost every aspect of their lives and the last thing they want to do is plan a date. Having a woman plan a date creates so much pressure. She doesn’t know what your budget is or what you’re going to think if she chooses the wrong thing. She wants to feel special and important and she wants to know that you care enough to create a special night for her.
- “Nice Guys” lack confidence. Which typically means they will wait around forever till they get the courage to talk to that girl or approach her. By the time they actually do it she has moved on to the man who made the move.
- “Nice Guys” want credit for being nice. We are all taught the golden rule in kindergarten, treat others as you’d like to be treated. What else do you bring to the table? What are your passions and interests?
- “Nice Guys” aren’t strong in their masculinity. Nice guys take on more feminine traits to a fault. They aren’t direct and don’t show what they have to offer a woman. They put all their emotions out on the table and don’t understand why women are attracted to the “Bad Boy” or Alpha male.
Women want a man to lead the way. Plan the date and be direct. Women are physiologically attracted to the Alpha Male. It goes back to survival of the fittest. Women want to mate with the man who is going to provide the alpha children. We want the man who is going to make us feel cherished, valued and provide a sense of protection. So it’s important to be able to balance masculine and feminine qualities. Because physically women want a strong alpha male but emotionally and mentally we want a man who is going to support us in all aspects of our lives.
Next time you want to ask a woman out, call her and say “Are you available Friday Night? I’d love to take you to dinner.” If she says, “yes” then say “Great, does 7:00pm work?” Then follow up with a time and place. If she says “no”, don’t take it personal. Ask her if Saturday works or when the next date she has open.
The key is to be direct and make a plan. Your goal is to make her feel special.
Is being the nice guy not working for you? Schedule a Discovery call today to see how you can change this pattern.